I've got some left-over vacation time to burn, and decided to stay home today and catch up on my layin'-around time. I've got the place to myself while Oodgie hangs with da sisters at her mom's group, and I'm debating how much I actually feel like getting done around the house. There are some things that need cleaning, and Cheeky's diaper pail smells like the hampshire swine pens at the Iowa state fair. I'll get around to it, I suppose, but I have to get my daily quota of time-wasting in first.
I didn't realize how educational this morning would be. Check out what I've already learned:
BEWARE THE WRATH OF WINFREY
I caught some clips from yesterday's filleting of James Frey. She's pissed. And finally, the truth of this whole silly affair is exposed. This whole stink isn't about whether Frey lied in his memoirs (he did) or whether it matters (it shouldn't, depending on the degree) or whether his publisher is dumber than a box of rocks (she is). It's about Oprah, her power, and her ego. She's crazy rich, and could instantly raise an army of follower larger and more powerful than La Grande Armée. But if you lie to her, then you hurt her and all who love her, and you must be crushed like the insignificant gnat you are. Please, Oh Mighty One, may we return to our scuttling little lives? Aren't there more important documents whose authenticity we should be alarmed about?
DARK HELMET WAS NOMINATED FOR A GRAMMY
I had no idea that Bob McKenzie had released an album. I caught this out of the corner of my eye while trying to avoid the 18 hour Al Roker Anniversary Extravaganza on the Today show, and the first thought that went through my mind was, "Please, God, don't tell me he's transmogrified his kids into houseplants or something." Turns out he's a Grammy nominated recording artist! I always thought his first album got snubbed. By the way, is there anyone on the planet who looks more like Bill from accounting than him?
ELMO IS ACTUALLY NOT THE MOST ANNOYING SESAME STREET CHARACTER
This came as a shock to me, because I thought that high-pitched giggle was perfectly calibrated to rupture adult eardrums. It turns out there's a character called Baby Bear who teaches kids how to have a speech impediment. He's BFF with Telly Monster, who could be the most mentally challenged muppet since Mark Sykes, and every interaction between them is like watching "Riding the Bus With My Sister" I want Oscar to sneak up behind them and hit them with a trash can lid whenever I see them.
STARS, THEY'RE JUST LIKE US!
Last night I had the good fortune of meeting MetroDad and AdventureDad. AdventureDad had flown in from Sweden earlier in the week, and MetrodDad recommended a great lounge called the Brandy Library for drinks. We spent the evening discussing all sorts of topics, from travel and work to the joys of parenting and the number of scotch molecules $12 buys you in Manhattan (my guess is 83, based on the pours last night). It reinforced what I already knew: the bloggers I've connected with over the last few months are among the coolest, well-grounded, enjoyable people out there. It's amazing to me that like-minded guys with wildy divergent backgrounds can connect via the magic of cyberspace. We're just decent (and funny) people who want to be good parents and enjoy ourselves at the same time; maybe someday we can have a convention and all hang out together. Vegas, anyone?
Oodgie's going to be home in an hour, and I haven't done anything yet, so I should wind this down. That's not much time to play The Warriors, you know...
Oops.
Make that "Mighty". With a 'y' at the end.
Posted by: suburban misfit | January 27, 2006 at 04:27 PM
What the?
Somehow my first comment disappeared? Kind of fun, though, that the one up there makes absolutely no sense, out of context.
Posted by: suburban misfit | January 27, 2006 at 04:28 PM
I heard about the Oprah thing -- on frickin' NPR. You know you're frickin' powerful when they report what you did on NPR!
And -- YOU MET METRODAD AND ADVENTURE DAD?1? I am so jealous! You all need to come to LA. Yeah, that's right YOU! And MD and AD . . . and now those last two sound like occupations . . .
Posted by: MIM | January 27, 2006 at 09:50 PM
MMMmmmmm Brandy Library. Let me know next time their lookin' to hire a new librarian. Ok.
Mmmm 641.252....
Posted by: | January 27, 2006 at 11:24 PM
oprah, elmo, grammy action, and a jaunt with stars huh..all in a matter of 24 hours...you are far too productive for me sir...i will have to reconsider my mild hero-worship.
Posted by: chelsyliz | January 28, 2006 at 12:31 PM
Oh yeah, I could have told you about Baby Bear and his annoying fake speech impediment. You should consider yourself lucky you didn't catch an episode of "The Street" that featured Zoey and Elmo arguing over something. Those make me want to scratch out my own eyes.
Posted by: Sarah | January 28, 2006 at 02:43 PM
GAAAH!! I hated Baby Bear! I used to go on long tirades about how Sesame Street was supposed to be educational, not pushing characters who can't even speak English correctly! Luckily my kids got burned out on Sesame Street and now my tirades are all about Disney movies and their LOUDNESS.
Posted by: Kristen | January 29, 2006 at 01:16 PM
Ah yes, Baby Bear. Makes me long for the cartoons of marbles rolling through psychedelic techni-color machinery, "1,2,3,4,5..."
I hope you said "hi" to AD and MD for the rest of us.
Posted by: the weirdgirl | January 29, 2006 at 06:20 PM
totally jealous. totally.
Posted by: kara | January 30, 2006 at 09:04 AM