Cheeky's Hideaway

Upon Further Review

The writer's strike has left me in a bit of a lurch, as all of my original material has been outsourced to underpaid unionized labor for months now.  The networks may be able to throw together reality programming like "The Amazing Race: Dancing with the Singing Biggest Loser Survivor Edition...hosted by Howie Mandel" but I've got nothing on my mind grapes and only to the end of this Dora episode to think of something.

How about music?

I could talk about all the great music I've stolen acquired this year, but after my primary source was shut down last month (by freakin' Interpol, no less...totally James Bond!) I'm staying under the radar.  I could post my favorite music videos, but Chag had that idea a year ago, and I respect the man too much to steal that idea.

Time for some revisionist history.  Time to revisit the Top 100.

Ever since compiling the list last year, I've listened and relistened to nearly everything on it dozens of times.  Maybe I've changed, or maybe I've just had seconds thoughts, but some things just aren't sitting right with it.  If this is my one historical document that survives into posterity, I want to leave some record of my concerns so some day my children's children can assemble the director's cut.

Item #1 - The Top 10

I was so sure Some Girls was my second favorite Stones album, but now I'm not so sure.  I still love it, and it's on the list somewhere, but top 10?  No, that's too high.  Same with Irresistable Bliss; I love me my Soul Coughing/Mike Doughty, but it's too eccentric to hang with the big boys like Dylan, the Clash, and Bowie.  Both these albums must drop a few notches, leaving room for two worthy competitors, Making Movies and Rumours, to move up.

Item #2 - The Problem with Nostalgia

I surprised myself when I put Thriller at #78.  I never listen to that album!  I admire it and all, but a few random plays on iPod shuffle gave it a temporary boost which it hasn't maintained since.  I think the problem is with familiarity...just because you know every song doesn't mean it's really as important to you--or as great--as you remember.  So I need to pull that off the list completely.  In retrospect, the same can be said for Hysteria (#51), Is This It? (#41) and Hotel California (#73).  All these must drop...a lot.  I'll go out on a limb and say that Def Leppard and the Strokes stay on the list (barely) but the Eagles and Michael need to retire.

Two new open spots on the list...will there be more?

Item #3 - Alt-Country just ain't what it used to be

I used to comfortably rate alt-country music--particularly anything done by the progeny of Uncle Tupelo or Whiskeytown--as among the best music on the planet.  Whiskeytown's Stranger's Almanac and Ryan Adams' Heartbreaker very nearly made the list the first time.  But lately I've found it sorta....boring.  Maybe I'm just tired of it.  I can't summarily drop all the alt-country on the list; Tomorrow the Green Grass and Being There are ranked high for a reason.  But a re-examination is necessary, and I think #92 Summerteeth (which on further consideration really isn't better than Yankee Hotel Foxtrot after all) and #81 Trace probably need to drop. 

And so two more spots open up...

Item #4 - What was once "fresh" now kinda bugs me

Three of the newer albums that made the list by New Pornographers (#68), Franz Ferdinand (#87) & the Donnas (#80) were all pretty solid choices at the time.  But like so many things that are new and shiny when you first buy them, they become dull and scratched over time.  I was worried about putting new stuff on the list for that very reason, but assumed these would stand the test of time for me.  Not so much.  I still like 'em...they just aren't top 100 material.  The most likely to stick to the list was Franz Ferdinand, but as I think about it I still consider them Strokes 2.0, and if the Strokes are falling...well let's just make it a clean sweep.  Three more down!

Item # 5 - I'm fucking sick of Bono

Enough already.  Go away, you smug bastard!  As punishment, War (#56) takes a dive.  Maybe someday I'll reconsider it, but until I get the endless repetition of "Vertigo" out of my head I don't think I can stomach it.

That leaves eight open spots!  Now, in a unique application of participatory democracy, I'm going to give everyone a chance to vote on what should be added to the list.  I've created a list of candidates and included links to download the albums ('cause I'm just that generous).  Some are familiar...some maybe not so much.  Most nearly missed the cut last time, but all are great for different reasons.  So have a listen and let the voting begin!

David Bowie - The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust & the Spiders from Mars

A companion piece to Hunky Dory (comfortably nestled in my top 10) and considered by many Bowie's best album.

LCD Soundsystem - LCD Soundsystem

The new LCD Soundsystem is a strong contender for album of the year.  Much dance club goodness, and perhaps the best opening three notes of any album ever.

Sparks - Kimono My House

A bizarre masterpiece, part theatrical eccentricities and part pre-disco pop.  And what a great album cover!

Kleptones - 24 Hours

A delightful mishmash of beats, song excerpts, and pop-culture references, all set around a "day in the life" theme.  See if you can guess where the samples come from.

Electric Light Orchestra - Out of the Blue

ELO.  The soundtrack of my childhood.  It probably had something to do with the logo, which looked like a cross between a flying saucer and Simon.  Still, such great tunes...

Iron Maiden - The Number of the Beast

Tight, menacing rock and roll, with the greatest, most-frightening mascot in the history of music.  The title song is on permanent rotation on my iPod during workouts.

Paul McCartney - Ram

With apologies to Imagine and All Things Must Pass, this is the best album by any former Beatle.  Most of his other solo stuff is trash (including everything Wings-related) but this is a shockingly good disk.  Check it out.

The Police - Outlandos d'Amour

I'm sure this will get some votes from the Boston crowd, with whom I shared a night in July at Fenway.
   

Spoon - Girls Can Tell

Another band with an album out that's contending for album of the year.  In the span of a year I've gone from having barely heard of them to owning all their albums and listening to them all the time (currently tied for #6 on my Last.FM profile).  The hard part was picking one album to nominate for this, but I give this one a slight edge over Gimme Fiction.  Very, very slight.

Jamiroquai - Traveling Without Moving

A more lightweight selection than any of the other candidates, but I keep coming back to this albums effortless grooves.

 

Liz Phair - Exile in Guyville

Another album that very nearly made last year's list.  Still a raw, excellent listen, especially "The Divorce Song," which is the most heartbreaking song about the end of a relationship outside of Blood on the Tracks.

Wilco - Yankee Hotel Foxtrot

As I mentioned earlier, a worthier nominee than Summerteeth in retrospect.  Having recently watched I Am Trying to Break Your Heart I have a new appreciation for it.  Less twangy than some of their other music, but powerfully atmospheric and thoughtful.

Dennis Wilson - Pacific Ocean Blue

A lost masterpiece by the late Beach Boy.  A de facto choice on lazy summer afternoons, with beautiful harmonies which make you question whether his brother Brian was really the most talented member of the group.

R.E.M. - Automatic for the People

The (almost) final nominee, and the finest recording of R.E.M. made after they crossed over from college radio to MTV.  I think this is some of the most beautiful music ever put to vinyl (or in this case converted to 1's and 0's and stored in my hard drive)

The Boomtown Rats - Tonic for the Troops

A late addition!  I almost left this gem off!  What was I thinking?  For those of you who only know Bob Geldof as the dude who shaved his eyebrows off in Pink Floyd's The Wall you're missing out on some of the best new wave punk ever recorded.

OK, those are the options.  I'll tally your votes and let you know the winners soon.  In the meantime, I'll go back and see if there's any other ideas I can recycle.  Top TV characters, anyone?

CroutonBoy's Top 100 Albums of All Time - #10-1

According to legend, in 490 BC, the Greek runner Pheidippides ran from the town of Marathon to Athens, 24 miles away, to announce that the Athenians had defeated the invading Persians.  After he announced the victory, he collapsed and died.  That, in many ways, is how I feel now that we've finally arrived at my Top 10 favoritist albums ever.  I made it!  THUMP.

Then again (while mixing Greek metaphors) this is the Golden Fleece, the fire brought down from Olympus, and the head of Medusa all rolled into one.  It's also just a list of albums I like a lot.  So with much more fanfare than necessary and without further distraction, here is the ten best albums according to me.

#10 - David Bowie - Hunky Dory

I love Bowie's glam period.  Ziggy Stardust and all that weirdness.  He had his hands in some of the best music of that period, from Lou Reed to the Stooges, and he was producing majestic rockers of his own.  This is my primo choice from that period...incredible songwriting and unabashed grandeur woven throughout the music.  "Life on Mars?" and "Queen Bitch" are highlights (as is "Changes", but you all knew that) and would later reappear in Portugese as the best part of the Life Aquatic.  Listening to his album is to hear an absolute master at the peak of his craft.  Favorite Song = "Oh, You Pretty Things"

#9 - Rolling Stones - Some Girls

With apologies to Tattoo You, this is the Rolling Stone's final masterpiece.  It's got all the decadence and attitude of their best albums, but with added inflections of disco and glitz.  Their version of "(Just My) Imagination" is the definitive one to me, and "Far Away Eyes" is a hilarious riff on country music.  "Miss You" is rattles around in my earliest memory banks of childhood, and "Beast of Burden" is a great, great ballad.  Favorite Song = "Shattered"

#8 - Dave Brubeck Quartet - Time Out

The best jazz album ever.  Period.  As a former band geek I listen to Brubeck's exploration of 5/4 time on "Take Five" and am in absolute awe in his ability to craft one of the most memorable jazz songs in history out of something so unusual.  "Blue Rondo a la Turk" and "Three to Get Ready" are absolute classics that everybody knows, even if they don't exactly remember where you know them from.  I'll say it again...the best jazz album ever.  Period.  Favorite Song = "Take Five"

#7 - Soul Coughing - Irresistible Bliss

And here you will find my idiosynchratic side exposed in its fullest glory.  I LOVE Soul Coughing.  "Move a...side, and let the man go through, let the man go through, through."  The day I heard they broke up was the saddest day of my musical life, far surpassing the passing of Dennis Wilson or the release of the Titanic soundtrack.  Mike Doughty has one of the most distinct, off-kilter voices in music, and their music was always quirky without being silly.  I never ever ever ever get tired of listening to any of their albums, and this is my all-time favorite.  Yeah, it's that good.  To me, at least.  Favorite Song = "Soft Serve"

#6 - Gang of Four - Entertainment!

Another album that has been written about time and time again for it's influence on music.  And again, I have nothing to add on that front.  All I can say is that the first time I listened to it I felt an incredible excitement, like I'd discovered the Rosetta Stone or something.  The stoccato guitars, the subversive lyrics, and it's overall twitchiness are tremendously entertaining (see, just like the title!) and exhilerating.  It makes me want to both rhythmically and arhythmically at the same time, which I think is physically impossible.  Whatever, it's awesome.  Favorite Song = "Natural's Not In It"

#5 - Grateful Dead - Europe '72

I may take some heat for this album being on the list, let alone at #5, but I don't care.  Everything you ever need to know about the Grateful Dead can be found here.  I'm not a Deadhead, mind you...I'm not into 35 minute-long forays into improvised psychadelia while crowds of tie-dyed hippies slowly wave their pale limbs in the air and complain that their bowls are cashed.  I resisted them for a long time because of that image.  But a long weekend in San Diego with a buddy who liked them opened my eyes to something I hadn't realized--they were a really good folk rock band.  Really, really good.  You get the best of everything with this:  a live set that highlights some of their best catalog material, most of which is among the best country/blue/folk tunes ever recorded.  RIP, Jerry.  Favorite Song = "Brown-Eyed Woman"

#4 - Bob Dylan - Blood on the Tracks

I'm a little surprised that there isn't more Bob Dylan on my list, because I love the man.  Yes, he sings through his nose.  And what's up with the Victoria Secret commercial?  But he doesn't need to apologize for anything, and he never has.  His body of work is untouchable, and this, his first "comeback" album, is in my mind his best, and the most achingly beautiful collection of music ever assembled.  You can hear a heartbroken, regretful man unspooling stories of lost love, mistakes made, and memories cherished.  I don't think I've ever heard anything so emotional as "Tangled Up in Blue," "Idiot Wind," or "If You See Her, Say Hello."  Crushing.  Favorite Song = "Simple Twist of Fate"

#3 - AC/DC - Highway to Hell

Sex, booze, three chords...what more do you need?  Loud.  Simple.  Perfect.  Cheeky has an AC/DC outfit, but Mommy doesn't let her wear it.  If Daddy had his way she'd wear it every day.  So, by now you get the idea that I like them, right?  As previously mentioned, this band was at its best before Bon Scott drank himself to death, and his last album piles on enough minimalist menace and ridiculously awesome guitar hooks to devour and consume a lesser band.  And all hard rock bands are lesser bands.  I'm staring at the track list and am having a terrible time picking one song to be my favorite, because they are all insane, but since I have to how about... Favorite Song = "Shot Down in Flames"

#2 - Rolling Stones - Exile on Main Street

You knew this was coming, didn't you?  It's really more like #1B than #2, but whatever.  Sprawling, dirty, and complex, it's an incredibly ambitious album that explores and mixes all sorts of genres.  Every time I listen to it I catch something I missed the first 60,000 I listened.  The best rock and roll album ever.  Favorite Song = "Happy"

#1 - The Clash - London Calling

Here we are!  My absolute favorite album.  It shows up on a lot of "best of" lists, and some of my fellow bloggers have rightfully called it out on their own lists.  Where to start?  It's incredibly eclectic, with punk, reggae, rockabilly, R&B and straight rock all thrown into the stew and informed with rebellion and blue-collar anger.  Each song stands on its own as a masterpiece, and taken together it's a dizzying listen.  It was a staple in my car stereo for years, and I would blast "Spanish Bombs,"  "Guns of Brixton," or "Stagger Lee" with inpunity.  I asked our wedding band to play "Train in Vain" and, being a wedding band used to covering KC & the Sunshine Band, they were utterly confused.  But they worked up a version for us and afterward the bandleader came over and thanked me for picking it, saying it was the most fun they'd had playing as a band.  There's something for everyone on here.  It's perfect.  RIP, Joe.  Favorite Song = "Clampdown"

Wanna see the full list?  #100-91, #90-81, #80-71, #70-61, #60-51, #50-41, #40-31, #30-21, #20-11

That's it.  FINALLY!  I can't believe I have to go back to being original and creative with this blog (or at least start being original and creative) instead of reciting a list of crap I like.  What the hell am I going to do now?  I'm spent!  Maybe a list of creepy things you can see at children's playgrounds and parks.  Someone's already done that?  Damn....

CroutonBoy's Top 100 Albums of All Time - #20-11

Is it just me or does it feel like I've been counting this down since mastadons roamed the plains?  But we're soooo close, aren't we?  On to the list....

#20 - Ben Folds - Rockin' the Suburbs

Give credit where credit is due; if you can write perfect pop songs, you should be given some major props.  And Ben knows how to write pop songs.  Really good ones.  It started with one song (I think it was "Army") which I found on a compilation, and within a couple weeks I had every CD Ben had ever put out.  Even Oodgie likes him, and she has terrible taste in music.  (Hi honey!  Love you!)  And this one is his finest...incredibly piano work underscoring witty, intelilligent and well-grounded observations of the suburbs, office life, and growing up.  Favorite Song = "Annie Waits"

#19 - Led Zeppelin - Zeppelin I

I wish I could have been around in 1969 when this album first came out.  How do you react when you're hearing the birth of a genre?  Behold, hard rock has arrived!  It must have blown some minds.  The Zeppelin canon is so rich you can hardly go wrong, but for my money this is still their best.  It's the blueprint for heavy metal, with crushing blues and pummeling choruses.  Favorite Song = "Good Times, Bad Times"

#18 - Urge Overkill - Saturation

These guys should have become SUPERSTARS with this album.  Every song is a killer!  The band imploded not long after this came out, which is a shame because if they'd stuck it out a while longer you'd all be humming their tunes and maybe we could have avoided that whole N*Sync/Backstreet Boy era.  Favorite Song = "Positive Bleeding"

#17 - Rolling Stones - Sticky Fingers

I've heard this album described as "weary," which I agree with.  Every song, although excellent, has the feel of an exhausted, blue-collar laborer sprawled out on a couch either lazily contemplating his life or lashing out at life's injustice.  "Sister Morphine" is dark and desperate, and "Brown Sugar" is the best paean to interracial...romance...to ever get significant airplay.  Good stuff after a long day slogging through...ok, in front of a computer.  Take what you can get.  Favorite Song = "Dead Flowers"

#16 - Nick Drake - Five Leaves Left

Thank you, Volkswagon, for exposing me to music that the limited radio stations of my youth never bothered with.  Whoever put "Pink Moon" in that commercial did a huge favor to Nick Drake's myth (and his estate, I assume).  Of course, "Pink Moon" isn't on this album (it's on Pink Moon, duh!) but it was through that that I found this, his debut.  Holy cow, is this a stunner.  Reflective, beautifully crafted, and utterly engaging.  I was hooked from the first intro chords of "Time Has Told Me," and I've never tired of it.  Favorite Song = "Saturday Sun"

#15 - Green Day - Dookie

Admit it...the first time you ever heard "Longview" you thought to yourself, "Yeah, I've been that bored."  I was always that bored, and that song became my mid-20s anthem.  But how good was this album?  So freakin' good!  The neighbors in my apartment building heard this album a LOT.  Along with Blind Melon & the Counting Crows these guys redefined my listening tastes for almost a decade, shaking me out of my grunge-induced stupor into a world were you could still make great music without sounding like you were hiding under a blanket.  And the breakneck pace of their tunes still make me want to jump and kick (nicely...not at anyone).  Favorite Song = "She"

#14 - AC/DC - Powerage

Did I already mention that AC/DC was specifically named in my wedding vows?  They were...twice.  We wrote our own vows, and I made some reference to air-guitaring to AC/DC, either asking for pre-emptive forgiveness or simply stating that she'd better get used to it.  Oodgie, to my surprise and delight, proceeded to her vows and said, "I love you for your bizarre taste in music, although I don't think AC/DC is gonna happen for me."  I consider that a triumph...even the unconverted must acknowledge their power!  Nothing makes me happier than an AC/DC song.  Well, maybe ice cream, but it's close.  And any good AC/DC fan knows that Bon Scott, RIP, not Brian Johnson, shall forever be their lead singer.  "Down-Payment Blues" has the best chord progression in the history of ever (even Slash agrees) and tunes like "Sin City", "Kicked in the Teeth", and "What's Next to the Moon" are incredible rockers.  Classic.  Favorite Song = "What's Next to the Moon"

#13 - Rage Against the Machine - Rage Against the Machine

Never has a band's name so appropriately fit everything they sound like and stand for.  If I ever need to psyche myself up for something, like an inteview or Fight Club, then this is what I use.  A perfect distillation of anger in musical form.  And it rocks and it's awesome and FUCK YOU I won't do what you tell me!  Favorite Song = "Killing in the Name"

#12 - Fleetwood Mac - Rumours

Any arguments on this one?  Seriously, if you don't realize by now that this is one of the most  amazing albums ever recorded you're crazy and have never actually listened to it.  So there.  Moving on...  Favorite Song = "Go Your Own Way" 

#11 - Dire Straits - Making Movies

I had a roommate in college who was obsessed with Eric Clapton.  Constantly constantly constantly playing his stuff.  I used to needle him by saying I thought Mark Knopfler was a better guitarist, which would immediately set him off on some esoteric tangent that I couldn't follow.  Fact is, I DO think Mark Knopfler is better; he's more distinctive and a better story-teller.  Except maybe for "Les Boys" there's not a weak track on here, all lyrically rich and skillfully produced.  Favorite Song = "Romeo and Juliet"

See also:  #100-91, #90-81, #80-71, #70-61, #60-51, #50-41, #40-31, #30-21

According to my calculations I currently have one music entry left, currently scheduled for next Tuesday.  Are those cheers from those of you breathlessly awaiting the top 10, or the ones who are sick and tired of me prattling on about music when you came here for Cheeky-related mayhem?  As long as you're happy...

CroutonBoy's Top 100 Albums of All Time - #30-21

Even though we're still not in the top 20, I think this might be my favorite stretch of ten on the list.  It's sort of all over the place...a little of this, a little of that.  And they're all freakin' amazing albums (or frakkin', if you're on a battlestar)...

#30 - Rod Stewart - Every Picture Tells a Story

Rod Stewart is the poster-child for "how the mighty have fallen."  He's a complete joke now, especially with those stupid Great American Songbook albums.  I really didn't think it could get any worse than "Love Touch," but I was wrong.  What people tend to forget, so deafened are they by the loud sucking sound coming from his career, is that he used to be one of the best interpretive singers around, and a damn fine songwriter to boot.  Look no further for evidence than this.  Yeah, yeah, "Maggie May" and "Reason to Believe" are great songs, but listen to the heartbreak in "Mandolin Wind" and hear him tear up the floor in "(I Know I'm) Losing You."  Never a dull moment.  Favorite Song = "(I Know I'm) Losing You"

#29 - Paul Simon - Graceland

I was about to start high school when this album came out.  I remember being into Duran Duran, Van Halen, the Eurythmics, and everything else Rick Dees or Casey Kasem told me to listen to.  This album was nothing like those.  I bought it because of the video for "You Can Call Me Al," lip-synced by Chevy Chase, but my half-developed mind sort of knew that what I was listening to was really, really good.   Not "Safety Dance" good, but good nonetheless.  Twenty years later I still like those other bands, but that's more nostalgic than anything else.  My love and respect for this album, however, has grown and grown and grown.  It's comfortingly familiar while being enchantingly exotic, an almost impossible combination.  I think the reason no one has tried to copy its formula is that everyone knows they'd never, ever get even close to how great this is.  Favorite Song = "Diamonds on the Soles of Her Shoes"

#28 - Alice in Chains - Jar of Flies

My favorite album to come out of the Seattle grunge scene wasn't from any of the Big Three (Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Soundgarden) but this haunting gem.  Alice in Chains toned down their guitar driven attack for more a more accoustic approach.  I don't know that I'd call them "ballads"--they're too sorrowful for that label--but they are slower and more thoughtful than the rest of their stuff.  And their distinctive minor-key vocal harmonies create a melancholy air while their rock band tendencies keep them from sliding into something too depressing, especially on "Don't Follow" and "I Stay Away."  Favorite Song = "No Excuses"

#27 - Semisonic - Great Divide

I was really, really pissed when Semisonic got a hit and a Grammy nomination for "Closing Time."  Why?  Because the song was stupid and sucked, and I knew that would be what people would remember them for.  Before then, I was a borderline fanatic for their music, going back to the days when they were still Trip Shakespeare, and would loyally catch then at First Ave, the 9:30 Club, or at the summer street festivals they'd occasionally show up at.  They were a great rock band with a gift for sing-along melodies, and Great Divide didn't come out of my car's CD changer until I sold the car two years later.  Favorite Song = "If I Run"

#26 - Link Wray - Link Wray

Music written and performed completely from the gut.  It sounds home-made, almost like a jug-band or something.  Link's a guitar-legend, but he stipped down his sound and created an album that could be confused for the very roots of rock & roll.  And if you look closely at the album cover, it will shed a tear.  Because you litter.  Shame on you.  Favorite Song = "La De Da"

#25 - Mason Jennings - Mason Jennings

I've got an interesting relationship with Mason.  My ex-wife introduced me to him, and she learned about him from the guy she would eventually cheat on me with.  But I don't hold that against him.  Then, my uber-nerd fan-boy love for him actually made me late for work on 9/11 because I was burning his CD for a friend, so I have him to thank for avoiding some pretty heavy shit (I worked across the street from the WTC at the time).  So there's that.  TMI?  Sorry.  Really, it's about the music, maaan!  He recorded this album in his apartment (by himself) only a few blocks from where I used to live in Uptown Minneapolis, and it literally sounds like he's inviting you in to chill with him while he's playing.   It's intimate folk-rock, with irresistable hooks, pithy lyrics, and a sweet-natured goodness that's refreshing and addictive.  Dig it.  Favorite Song = "Darkness Between the Fireflies"

#24 - Beastie Boys - Paul's Boutique

Hey, hey ladies!  Get funky!  *cowbell*  No song with cowbell has ever been bad.  It's a freakin' funhouse!  The samples are dense and brilliantly chosen.  We'll never hear another album like this--the days of free-wheeling sampling are long gone under piles of litigation.  But thank god this is out there.  Great jokes, a cornucopia of cultural references (and you know how much I love references), and--most importantly--some tight songs and lyrics that jam and bounce and race and even duel-banjos!  Awesome!  Favorite Song = "Egg Man" (which brilliantly samples "Superfly")

#23 - Madness - One Step Beyond...

Another album of pure mayhem (I seem to favore those).  It's so freakin' nutty and clever, somehow mixing fairground music with classical, ska, Far Eastern intruments and marching bands.  The title track is ridiculously fun, and there's crazy instrumentals on "Tarzan's Nuts" and "Swan Lake".  And it ends with a song about chipmunks which somehow foreshadows Stripes.  But don't get me wrong...if it was just noises and craziness it would be unlistenable.  The songs propel you forward with exubarance and a bottomless well of goofy joy.  Favorite Song = "Night Boat to Cairo"

#22 - Guns 'n' Roses - Appetite for Destruction

I don't often agree with the preposterously elitist indie-snobs at Pitchfork Media, but when they ranked this among the best albums of the 80s they said:  "Two words: no filler"  Fuck yeah.  I'd never heard anything this sleazy and angry before this album, yet even the good little missionary kid who sat behind me in the back of the room couldn't help banging his head and sticking the devil sign in the air when "Welcome to the Jungle" comes on.  These guys put all the evil and mayhem back in rock and roll that Poison and Winger had sucked out of it.  Every song kicks ass, takes names, and ravages your limp, lifeless body afterwards.  They somehow managed to simultaneously disintegrate and bloat after this album, but this is a ferocious, delicious treat.  Favorite Song = "Paradise City"

#21 - Van Morrison - Moondance

If Van Morrison were to sing the phone book I'd probably be mesmerized.  How the guy can effortlessly put so much soul into the lyrics is beyond my feeble mortal mind to comprehend.  He always seems to be evoking innocent moments, when love and life still seem fresh and exciting.  "Into the Mystic" might be one of the five greatest songs ever set to vinyl--I once saw a bar band named Mick Sterling & the Stud-Brothers (that should have been a sign) try to cover it and I wanted to jump across the tables and beat the living crap out of him for even daring to consider it.  Beyond that, there's jazzy classics throughout this disk ("And it Stoned Me," "Crazy Love," "Brand New Day") that have a near magical intensity.  Favorite Song = "Into the Mystic"

See also:  #100-91, #90-81, #80-71, #70-61, #60-51, #50-41, #40-31

 

CroutonBoy's Top 100 Albums of All Time - #40-31

Still going.  Maybe ten at a time was a mistake.  But I'll be done by Labor Day, I promise.  This run reads a little like a playlist from KKZX, Spokane's ONLY Classic Rock Station, but there's a reason it's called "classic," OK? 

#40 - The Faces - Long Player

The best band that nobody in America seems to remember.  Rod Stewart and Ronnie Lane were en fuego back when these guys were churning out music in the early 70s, and they were legitimate rivals to the Rolling Stones as the "World's Greatest Rock and Roll Band."  The songs are loose and muscular like the best classic rock tracks, and the lyrics read (and are delivered) like a bunch of drunken scoundrels tearing it up all night.  Favorite Song = "Had Me a Real Good Time"

#39 - The Who - Who's Next

When this showed up on someone elses list I commented that this album was too big for an arena.  It's too big for this planet!  There should be a picture of this album next to the word "anthemic" in the dictionary.  It roars with power and can crush you with it's gale-force winds.  I like it.  Favorite Song = "Baba O'Riley"

#38 - Rolling Stones - Beggar's Banquet

You'll find ample evidence on this list where I fall the in the Rolling Stones vs. Beatles argument.  In fact, the blend of blues and country, sneering and prancing, decadence and virtuosity they pioneered is pretty much the blueprint of what I love about rock and roll.  You can hear them rejecting all the psychadelic experimentation and glossy pop imagery to embrace the guts of rock, which is why their music remains so timeless to me.  Favorite Song = "No Expectations"

#37 - AC/DC - Back in Black

Ah, AC/DC.  How I love thee.  So many memories.  Fish-tailing around suburban Spokane in my buddies Buick, listening to "You Shook Me All Night Long" and stealing traffic cones.  Air-guitaring to "Shake a Leg" in my college apartment.  Pumping two dollars worth of quarters into the jukebox at The Bulldog and selecting "Shoot to Thrill" 5 consecutive times.  Nowadays Brian Johnson sounds like he coughed out his voice-box, set it on fire, sawed it back and forth over a cheese-grater, then reinstered it, but back then he still had fresh pipes.  The only knock on this album?  No Bon.  Favorite Song = "You Shook Me All Night Long" (like you can really pick against that one)

#36 - Wilco - Being There

To this day, still my favorite Wilco album.  This utterly changed my perception of what alt-country could be, while still holding onto it's roots in folk, americana, and a few power chords.  "Monday" rocks, "Someone Else's Song" is beautiful, and the rest of the album keeps getting better the more you explore it.  It's eclecticism is what I like about it; despite the different directions it works well when you listen straight through, which--unlike most music--I still do.  Favorite Song = "I Got You (At the End of the Century)"

#35 - Bob Marley - Exodus

Where do you start with Bob Marley?  The guy took a unique kind of music from a small Caribbean island and turned it into a world-wide cultural force.  And if you've been reading this blog for a while you know how much I love Jamaica, mon.  This album is less political and more relaxed than some of his other ones, and some of the best known songs ("Jamming", "Three Little Birds", "One Love/People Get Ready") are on near continuous loops in every stoner's smokey apartment.  If you have the urge to get something besides Legend, this is where you should go first.  Favorite Song = "Three Little Birds"

#34 - The Police - Synchronicity

It's not perfect--it contains perhaps the worst song ever, "Mother."  But everything else on here is top-notch.  I never got tired of the big singles, which completely dominated one summer of my life, but I also really like the other tracks, like "Walking in Your Footsteps" and "Miss Gradenko."  My love/hate relationship with Sting aside, the Police were freakin' awesome.  Favorite Song = "King of Pain"

#33 - Frank Sinatra - Songs for Swingin' Lovers

I had a girlfriend a few years back that was crazy,  I'm talking bat-shit, get-these-spiders-off-of-me crazy, too.  Her musical tastes were limited to two things:  Foetus and Frank Sinatra.  If there's anything good that came out of that relationship, aside from a renewed appreciation for people who don't cut themselves, it's my abiding love for Ol' Blue Eyes.  No longer do I throw him in that category of "music my parents listened to."  When you've loved and lost like Frank has, then you know what life’s about. No one can sing the subtext of a song the way he can.  And no one...I repeat, no one...had a better voice and phrasing.  Say any different and I'm gonna ring-a-ding-ding your lousy puss.  Favorite Song = "I've Got You Under My Skin"

#32 - Rolling Stones - Let it Bleed

Remember The Big Chill.  I hated that movie.  Stupid Baby Boomers...so freakin' self-congratulatory.  Get on with retirement, for god sake, so those of us who realize that Woodstock was just a damn concert can have your jobs!  But I digress.  One of the jokes of the movie was the funeral at the beginning, in which the deceased (played stiffly by Kevin Costner) requests that "You Can't Always Get What You Want" is played instead of the normal funeral dirge.  Even that couldn't take away the grandeur of that track.  The Stones continue to explore the themes they did at #38, but with a little more of a hard-rocking edge.  And (spoiler alert) their best work was still ahead of them.  Favorite Song = "You Got the Silver"

#31 - Jayhawks - Tomorrow the Green Grass

With all due respect to Uncle Tupelo, Whiskeytown, and their descendents, you need look no further than The Jayhawks for the best of modern alt-country.  Before Mark Olsen left the band, he and Gary Louris used to sing harmonies that would take your breath away.  This is perfect country-rock, plain and simple...alternately rocking and touching.  Favorite Song = "I'd Run Away"

See also:  #100-91, #90-81, #80-71, #70-61, #60-51, #50-41

CroutonBoy's Top 100 Albums of All Time - #50-41

I admit that writing this list is pretty self-indulgent.  I'm hardly a music critic, and this isn't really a music blog.  But I've had fun writing and ranking, and I've enjoyed the feedback so far.  I think you can learn a lot about a person by the music they listen to, especially if they can speak passionately about it.  I've enjoyed other lists that have been popping up throughout the blogosphere, and have even stole bought some albums as a result. 

And this list has turned out--a little to my surprise--to be a labor of love for me.  I've seriously lost sleep over some artists and albums which didn't make the list, and gone into near panic when I remembered an album that had been left off and had to be accomodated.  If a blog is a personal journal, where you're free to share thoughts, opinions, and vulnerabilities, then this exercise fits the model perfectly.  I hope you're enjoying it as much as I am...

Shut up, CroutonBoy, and get on with the music.

#50 - Lou Reed - Transformer

I avoided Lou Reed for years, mostly because I thought his singing sucked ass.  "Walk on the Wild Side" seemed like an aberration in his career, a rare moment of pop song craft only picked up by classic rock stations because of the BJ reference.  A few years ago I heard "Perfect Day" on some movie soundtrack, and decided I might have been a little hard on Junkie McNoisemaker.  Sure enough, it's great.  I'm sure the fact that David Bowie and Mick Ronson produced it helps.  The lyrics explore the fringes of society, yet casts its characters in familiar emotional tones of acceptance, longing, and frustration.  They just want to be loved; is that so wrong?  Favorite Song = "Hangin' Round"

#49 - R.E.M. - Murmur

"Stand in the place where you were, now face north."  Oh wait...that's not on this album!  But that's what I knew of R.E.M. in college...annoying songs that people who thought they were cooler than me listened to, with occasional novelties that made it to the radio.  I've warmed to them over the years (Automatic for the People almost made this list) despite the fact that Michael Stipe looks like a cancer patient.  20 years later this album still sounds remarkably fresh and raw, with production values that sound like they're singing and playing just a little far away from the microphone.  The songs are all great nuggets of folk-rock/post-punk fusion.  Does that make me sound snobbish?  Probabaly...forget I said it.  Favorite Song = "Radio Free Europe"

#48 - Palomar - Palomar III: Revenge of Palomar

I'd be surprised if more than one person who reads this blog has this album.  (Hi, Dave!)  A friend of mine was a fan of these guys, and another buddy knew someone who was opening for them a couple years ago, so I tagged along to the show...I've been utterly hooked ever since.  They remind me of a band that used to play at all our college parties that I became friends with.  Tight, exuberant melodies, and a fun vibe that only a band that's still trying to "make it" has.  And you can still chat with the band-members behind the t-shirt table at one of their shows.  Favorite Song = "You Dance Bad"

#47 - Stevie Wonder - Fulfillingness' First Finale

Hopefully this will assuage those of you who got all bent out of shape about having a Stevie album in the 90s.  This album never seems to get the props that his other albums do, but I like it the best.  Don't ask me why...the only answer I can give is that collectively I like the songs on this more.  Favorite Song = "Heaven is 10 Zillion Light Years Away"

#46 - Neil Young - After the Gold Rush

Neil Young is another one of those guys, like Springsteen and the Beatles, who has been endlessly written about.  I've got nothing to add.  I will say, however, that he's also one of the few artists who have managed to maintain their credibility throughout their career (Bowie is the only other guy that comes to mind).  Politics and nasal singing aside, this is a great batch of tunes:  rootsy, majestic, and memorable.  He was alt-country and grunge before those terms even existed...got to dig that.  Favorite Song = "Don't Let It Bring You Down"

#45 - Air - Moon Safari

Ladies and gentlemen, we are floating in space.  If it weren't for my old subscription to CMJ Music Monthly I would have never heard of these guys, 'cause it was so NOT what I was listening to at the time.  Their trance-like mix of atmosheric sounds and dance-beats opened my eyes to an exotic and fascinating sub-genre of music, and pushed the boundaries of my own sensibilities.  It's hypnotic and damn-near irresistable.  Favorite Song = "All I Need"

#44 - Velvet Underground - Loaded

I don't buy all that crap about bands who are "ahead of their time" or "experimental" and those who assume they must be great because of it.  My message to musicians is to stop trying to push boundaries of sound unless you can write songs that normal people can enjoy.  These guys seem to be the progenitors of that whole concept.  So what is Loaded doing on my list?  Because on this album they got it right.  For once they recorded some tunes with melodies, found ways to get Lou Reed's semi-detached voice and phrasing to fit, and frankly just lightened up.  Some of these even sound like Summer of Love singalongs, although with substantially more caustic lyrics.  Favorite Song = "Who Loves the Sun?"

#43 - Radiohead - The Bends

These guys have turned into a hell of a group, haven't they?  I don't even recognize them anymore, but I still love their stuff.  As great as their last few albums have been, I still favor this, their first masterpiece.  It still has all the structure of rock and roll (before they started disassembling it) and its both forceful and anguished.  It's the sound of a band perfecting the basics--and doing it better than anyone else--before taking a giant leap.  Favorite Song = "Fake Plastic Trees"

#42 - The White Stripes - White Blood Cells

Yeah, I drank the Kool-Aid.  I read recently that the biggest beneficiary of the success of the Strokes (see #41) was not in fact the Strokes themselves, but the White Stripes.  This album came out at just the right time for me...I was lamenting the death of good music on the radio (for the fifth consecutive year) and needed something different and energizing.  Enter Jack and Meg.  They are so good at so many different kinds of songs, from anthems ("I Can't Wait 'Til You Try to Come Back") to breakneck tunes that race by ("Fell In Love With a Girl") to sweet little playground tunes ("We Are Going to Be Friends").  And how do you not furiously bounce off walls when listening to "Little Room?"  Imagine how good they'd be if Meg knew how to drum.  Favorite Song = "Hotel Yorba"

#41 - The Strokes - Is This It?

Yeah, I drank the Kool-Aid (sound familiar?)  You want to hate these guys: their lead singer's dad runs a powerful modeling agency, and you can bet he had a hand in getting them some early gigs and access.  Plus the hype...oh, the hype.  But how can you not like this album?  It's like they updated the sounds of Blondie, Elvis Costello, and Velvet Undergound, adding 90s pop-sensibilities over a chugging backbeat.  I for one have never got tired of this.  Favorite Song = "Hard to Explain"

See also:  #100-91, #90-81, #80-71, #70-61, #60-51,

Now get back to work...the boss is going to see you...

CroutonBoy's Top 100 Albums of All Time - #60-51

I know what you're thinking:  we're almost halfway through the list and still no Billy Ray Cyrus?  Hard to believe, but true.  That list would be CroutonBoy's Top 533,718 albums of all time, somewhere near the bottom.

Thankfully, this is the top 100, and we're at #60 with....

#60 - The Flaming Lips - Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots

The Flaming Lips have put out a lot of incredibly weird uniquely interesting albums (Soft Bulletin, Transmissions from the Satellite Heart, etc.) but this is their most fun.  First of all, it's thematically based on a Japanese girl who uses karate to fight off "evil-natured robots."  Cool, right?  It's like Quentin Tarantino meets Isaac Asimov.  For all it's weirdness, the music is some of their most accessible.  "Do You Realize?" is gorgeous.  One of my favorites of the last few years...instant classic.  Favorite Song = "Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots, Pt. 1"

#59 - Jimmy Cliff - The Harder They Come

Wow.  An excellent collection of reggae tracks, not just from Jimmy but from contributors like Toots & the Maytals ("Pressure Drop") and the Melodians ("Rivers of Babylon").  If you're even remotely interested in reggae beyond Bob Marley you have to have this in your collection.  Favorite Song = "You Can Get It if You Really Want"

#58 - Aretha Franklin - I Never Loved a Man the Way I Love You

In my opinion, the most-talented singer with the greatest voice in popular music.  The fact that it includes "Respect," one of the seminal songs in rock history, is beside the point to me...it's almost a distraction.  Listen to her sing "Do Right Woman, Do Right Man" and "Save Me" and you understand how "soul" came to be used as an adjective for this kind of music.  It give me goosebumps.  Favorite Song = "I Never Loved a Man the Way I Love You"

#57 - Led Zeppelin - Houses of the Holy

Deciding between Led Zeppelin albums for this list was like choosing which of your children could go on the life raft with you.  There just wasn't room for all of them aboard, but this one made the cut, and not just because of the creepy Monty Python erotica cover art.  This was the second Zeppelin album I ever bought (they basically hand out Zeppelin IV with every CD player, don't they?) and went into heavy rotation in college when I got hooked on an endless cycle of "The Rain Song" and "No Quarter."  It's amazing that they never let their grandiosity sound bloated, like most of their followers did.  Favorite Song = "Over the Hills and Far Away"

#56 - U2 - War

The first of many albums p-man is going to give me grief about.  I like U2.  I don't love, them...I like them.  I certainly don't fawn over them like everyone else (including Coldplay) seems to, and except for a handful of catchy tracks their new stuff is too consciously cinematic and calculatingly commercial for my taste.  In fact, except for The Joshua Tree, this is their only album I can listen to all the way through, but what a great listen.  It's strident and forceful, and as grandstanding as the lyrics can be it's the muscular music behind them that brings me back.  Favorite Song = "Refugee"

#55 - Ladysmith Black Mambazo - Shaka Zulu

You may recognize Ladysmith Black Mambazo from their contribution to Paul Simon's Graceland album.  This album makes me think of peaceful evenings at the dawn of time, before our species got hooked on microwave dinners and ring-tones.  Beautiful, airy music, sung mostly without instruments and in Zulu, but it transcends musical styles and languages and evokes a deep spirituality.  It's also been really handy at impressing first dates...more seductive than you might think, gentlemen.  Favorite Song = "Hello My Baby"

#54 - Bruce Springsteen - Born to Run

I live across the river from Springsteenia, a strange land where people still wear acid-washed jeans and Bruce is revered as if he brought stone tablets down from Mt. Sinai.  They skitter out of their holes, blinking at the sun, to trade bootleg tapes of his shows.  Which is silly, because he plays a million shows a year, half of them in Jersey.  But if there's one show that I would be willing to see in a giant stadium with 100,000 screaming Garden State residents it's the Boss.  He actually lives up to the hype, and his boldest statement is this album.  The opening of "Thunder Road" could be the best ever written.  "The screen door slams...Mary's dress waves.  Like a vision she dances across the porch as the radio plays."  You can see yourself there, can't you?  I can.  Favorite Song = "Thunder Road" (duh)

#53 - Elastica - Elastica

I can't believe how much I love this album.  When I bought it I thought it was going to be just another alternative disk with one catchy single and a lot of filler (i.e. Blind Melon) but it's spectacularly addictive.  The songs all shoot by fast, with tons of hooks and guitar riffs that slash the air around you.  It's got all the attitude of early Blondie or the Clash, with fresh sexiness.  Favorite Song = "Car Song"

#52 - Pink Floyd - Wish You Were Here

Look, I know that everyone has Pink Floyd posters on their walls in college.  What you don't know is that I covered my walls with Pink Floyd posters.  I looked for obscure ones to cover that patch above the bathroom door.  I watched The Wall endlessly and memorized all the lyrics to "Time," "Us and Them", and "Money" like it was Walt Whitman.  A funny thing happened when I got older, though; I realized that this was their best album.  Not as overblown or over-played as their bigger albums, it's full of extended moody soundscapes--and fewer tricks like ticking clocks or crying babies.  RIP, Syd.