Seven. Again.

First off, I need to thank the lovely Weirdgirl, who nominated me for the prestigious and totally-without-compensation Excellent Blog Award.   I've been a fan of her site and sense of humor for years, and, as Al Gore and Peter O'Toole can tell you (through clenched teeth) it's an honor just to be nominated.  Supposedly I'm obliged to pass this award along to ten other people (which means that at some point everyone will be nominated) but I'm going to wait on doing so until I actually have time to read more than ten blogs.

However, the bulk of today's blog will be a response to my friend Sparky at Dirt & Noise.  Like a bad penny or Cher, the "seven things" meme keeps coming back, and this time it was Sparky who is cruelly punishing me tagged me. 

Normally, I would use my kung fu to deflect or my spam filter to ignore the request, as I've done seven memes about a dozen times.  In my experience, only seals, sins, and samurais are good in sevens.  However, Sparky is one of my oldest, dearest friends (and pretty funny, too...you should visit her blog and say "Hi") and I can't simply blow this off like I would my taxes.  But since this is my blog, I'm going to slightly modify the rules.

Instead of the standard "seven things you about me," I'm going to offer up "seven things that Sparky knows about me but you don't."  And, as an added bonus, ONE of these is NOT TRUE.  See if you can guess which one.

1. I once dated a girl who we (quite appropriately) nicknamed Dig Dug.
2. My favorite and most-practiced karaoke song is "Rock Me Gently" by Andy Kim.  Watching me swing my hips to it is like watching a time-warp to a uniquely Canadian 1974.  It's Kimpressive.
3. I have seen, but not touched, one of Sparky's boobs.
4. I once confessed, "Sometimes, when I stop to think, I realize that there's nothing in my brain."
5. At the end of a very muddy and heavily intoxicated Jimmy Buffett concert, I sold the affections of one of Sparky's friends to a complete stranger for the price of a single wine cooler.
6. To furnish my first apartment in Minneapolis, I threw a "Bring Your Own Furniture Party."  OK, so my couch may have spent the previous three years in someone's garage, but it was cheaper than Crate & Barrel.
7. I am a life-long quest for the perfect nachos.  The title once rested with now-closed Smiling Moose Bar & Grill, but I rescinded the title when they "changed the chef."  I'm still looking.

I'm sure there are other, even more embarrassing things that Sparky could share about me, but she knows better than to share them as I have an equal (if not greater) amount of dirt on her.

If you're still trying to guess which one of the above is not true, check the comments.

Comments

[croutonboy]

I didn't say that. Sparky did. And if you only knew how true that is...

[MammaLoves]

You only got to see one of her boobs? I don't think that really counts then.

[Dirt & Noise]

Dude, I'll gladly show you the other boob. I'm pretty sure it's not going to be as impressive as they were back before I had two kids that practically sucked the life out of me (figuratively, course...my boys were nursed by Dr. Brown). You're probably better off sticking with the memory.

Andy Kim is the one of the songs I crank any time I hear it.

And damn you for remembering that quote!

[mo-wo]

I think 3 is a lie. I think you did see and touch.

Or return your title of excellenceness!

[dadshouse]

At least he didn't drip nacho cheese on her boob. (Or maybe he did...)

[p-man]

I was convinced #5 was the lie. I can't see you, or any manny man like you, with a wine cooler. Wine cooler...

[croutonboy]

@p-man: In all honesty, it is that fact which brings me the most shame. But in my defense it was the end of the night, and it was the only alcoholic beverage within 30 car-lengths. That's where my priorities were, and I'm happy to say it's been nothing but beer and methadone since then.

[Sparky]

I seem to recall some bellinis, cosmos, and something pink with an umbrella in your past...