You Can't Spell 'Diet' Without D-I-E

Not long after our triumphant return from Antigua Oodgie and I decided the bulbous, squishy parts of our bodies have to go.  Months of feasting, carousing, and general abuse of our bodies have finally caught up with us--although you could argue that they caught up to us in our late 20s and we've been ignoring it since.  Our weapon of choice?  The South Beach diet.

For the eight of you not familiar with this diet, it in no way whatsoever resembles the actual South Beach.  The implied decadence of the name is immediately countered by the word "diet" after it, which means that no matter how easy the diet may be you'll still feel like a POW two hours into it.

We're freakin' starving!

I have noticed a few bad habits I'd picked up over the years as a result of this suicidal challenging decision.  Apparently my brain is hard-wired to grab a bag of chips 20 seconds after I walk in the door, and the battered chicken fingers which make up 63% of Cheeky's diet look more and more succulent every day.  I've been trusting my young, fit body to absorb my indiscretions, forgetting that neither adjective applies to me anymore.  Now I'm picking the croutons out of my Caesar salad (oh, the irony of it all...)

Far and away the most traumatic change, though, is the strict prohibition of beer.  We all know that it sometimes occasionally has been known to in some people to possibly maybe contribute to weight gain.  OK, I get it.  But seriously....none whatsoever?  The timing of this could not be worse.  The biggest national holiday of the year and they expect me to sip mineral water?  I 100% guarantee that there's a loophole somewhere that I can exploit!

...as long as I'm OK with the consequences.

Any one else have any diet war stories they'd like to share?

Comments

[Kathy]

My biggest offender is soda. I'm not overweight, but I tend to drink my calories. Not good. I'm sure I'm deficient in many essential nutrients. (Except caffeine, which is essential for my sanity.)

[Arwen]

We stopped drinking in January and my husband lost an entire belt size from his waist while still eating croutons.
Darn those carbs.
I have yet to see a difference in my waist.

[Whit]

Dude, beer is your friend. You turned your back on your friend. That's not cool.

Seriously though, if you want to drink but don't want the calories go with clear liquors- especially vodka. Tending bar for 8 years I could always tell the dieters- vodka crans never hurt anyone.

[landismom]

I saw the following story on the news a few days ago: "Researchers show that for women, one drink a day is as good as going to the gym."

My prayers have been answered!

Do you think two drinks are twice as good!

Seriously though, good luck with it. I quit eating chocolate two months ago, and I feel pretty good about that, but I don't think I'm ready to give up wine!

[Kara]

I've been having piercing migraines for the past three weeks- I've been on a diet where I'm losing about a pound per week (oh- it burns!) but I think the headaches are caused by my body crying out for alcohol and sour Skittles. And now I'm trying to determine if one pound per week is worth a life without sour Skittles. Because I broke down and have reintroduced alcohol. damn.

[Mom101]

We are truly living parallel lives because I went back on SB after Mexico. I was doing great.

And then Nate came home tonight waving a bag from Balthazar bakery, saying, "hey! Chocolate croissants!"

[AdventureDad]

I wish you luck in your war. But I must also warn you that the chance of you succeeding in your strategy is about the same as Giants winning SB 10 times in a row.... In my experience, as a professional or elite athlete during the past 25 years, the best strategy is to take it easy and absolutely not prohibit stuff. I've helped people many times with their diet and never seen the chock strategy work. Not once. Oh, it works for a month but after 30 days of salad and water people are going crazy and can't talk it any longer. They lose 30 lbs but gain back 40 as soon as they stop the madness.

The only thing that works in the long run is eating a little healthier (also maybe a little less) and exercising a little more. Drastic changes will kill your motivation.

Sorry to be so negative, I grew up in a "glass half empty family"

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[WestCoastBrother]

Hey I will say this. I've been noticing that pounds don't just shed anymore regardless of my pysical activity. I know I have always been the skinny one in the family but things are changing. I have noticed the ability for not only the midsection but the upperbody of the Weber child to become more dense after 27

I will say this. There are many many strategies for loosing weight but Adventure Dad is right. The best bet is to cut down on food intake, increase your excercise and enjoy the healtheir food you like more often then the bad ones. It will make a difference.

Also, if you don't like cardio try lifting large muscle groupls like your back and Legs. They burn massive amounts of calories rebuilding muscle tissue.

Cheers and good luck

[SBelous]

Weber,
first time here. Pretty entertaining!!

Drink Becks Light. Only 68 calories per beer, and all the alcohol. And it tastes better than the beer flavored water that passes as Bud Light, Coors Light, etc.