The Depacification of Cheeky

One of our greatest fears has become reality.

Cheeky won't give up her pacifier.

Let me clarify a bit.  She doesn't stay plugged all day, as if removing it would flood Holland.  But she needs it at night to fall (and stay) asleep, and she's loathe to give it up when she wakes up.

The first half hour of every morning is a communication nightmare, as Cheeky tries to tell us what she wants through a yellow plastic shield.  We try to get her to discard it, but she'll have none of it.  I try to pull it out of her mouth, but it sticks like a stubborn cork when I yank on it. 

It's not like it's the source of her powers or anything, and as a parent I feel like I need to start convincing her to let go before she meets her roommate freshmen year.

Just last night I was talking with Oodgie about whether she'd sleep in a "big-girl bed."  Oodgie commented that Cheeky likes her crib and hates change, to which I stupidly responded, "Well, she likes her pacifier, and we'll need to lose that soon."  Cheeky overheard and started yelling "PACIFIER!  PACIFIER!" and ran to our "secret" hiding place to fetch one.  We tried to negotiate her out of it, but she wailed and moaned, "I LOVE IT!  I NEED IT!"  (I didn't even know she knew those phrases!)

I don't want to make her unhappy, but C'MON!  She looks like an old tub!

So we're faced with a dilemma--do we let it slide and hope that cajoling will eventually convince her, or do we dip them in ashtrays or accidentally drop them in the incinerator?

Comments

[whit]

Cheeky Unplugged. We went tough love. It sucked for a while, or didn't suck, I guess, but it was loud. Worth it though.

[sam]

Oh we're on the cusp of that realm. I am not looking forward to it.
Though so far, we've been able to convince Carter to say "bye-bye" and leave it in his bed in the morning.
If he sees it or hears mention of it, it's fair game.

I know how you're feeling. I've thought about cutting the ends off all of them and letting him then "decide" that he doesn't like it anymore.

[landismom]

The cutting the ends off thing worked for both of our kids. They both decided they were 'broken' and just ended up throwing them out. I do still have one in a cabinet in our kitchen, though. Somehow, I still can't bear to part with the thing that kept them from screaming. Be careful what you wish for.

[Matthew]

Well, we got rid of them at one year ('cause that's what the books said) and while it was rough for a few nights, we've never looked back.

Cheeky's a little older so you could bundle all of them in a bouquet of balloons and send them off to binky heaven. It would also make good blogging material, so that's a plus.

Good luck!

[p-man]

Cigarettes and whiskey. And wild wild women. Yeah. I have no idea.

[p-man]

Cigarettes and whiskey. And wild wild women. Yeah. I have no idea.

[TheOtherCW]

I'm going with "colored sugar water," if you get me ;).

[Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah]

I've got nothing, but if you figure out something good please let me know because my kids just turned three and they still "need" their pacifiers to sleep. I fight them away every morning.

[Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah]

I've got nothing, but if you figure out something good please let me know because my kids just turned three and they still "need" their pacifiers to sleep. I fight them away every morning.

[Kara at Capebuffalo]

Hey- I commented yesterday... and it seems to have disappeared.

Anyway, I'll tell you again what worked for us and also say that breaking the passy/binky habit is harder for the grownups than the kids and that no person I know of has ever brought up depacification trauma in therapy as an adult.

Okay, here is the trick that got us off of bottles AND the pacifier (albeit at different times):

Next time you're on vacation or away for an overnight, don't pack them. When you get there and they ask, say "Hey buddy,they don't have (insert comfort item) here, but it's going to be okay because you're a big kid now and we're going to have a big kid day/vacation." Don't apologize, don't let them see you flinch, don't hug it out and have a ceremony for the death of the binky. State the unavailability of said item and move on.

I think the change in environment is key- it's a break in routine and, hopefully, you're in a place with lots of diversionary activities to make it seem like an adventure, like First Big Kid Day at Disney or Sesame Place and First Big Kid this or that.

When you get home, the spell should be broken :)

good luck!

[WCG]

Tell her they are dirty and need to be washed in the DISHWASHER. Let her help you put them in. THEN turn it on, briefly, and when you and she go to get them out, they will have "mysteriously" disappeared. You and she can ceremoniously look for them, but they will be no where to be found. "What could have happened to them?" "We can check back later." Hopefully she will blame the dishwasher and not you. You can console her or just make it a big mystery. (I'd have one hidden away, just in case that doesn't work.) Good luck.

[tkkerouac]

great blog!

[jessica]

Is it near birthday time? Half-birthday? Any friends expecting a new baby soon who will *need* some pacis? When my oldest son turned 2 (or 2.5 or whatever- no idea), we told him the paci fairy would come and get all the pacis and take them to new babies who needed them! What a great surprise! And the fairy (he/she- take your pick) would leave a BIG BOY present for him for being so generous as to give his pacis to the new babies who NEEDED them (appealing to streak of philanthropy in all Twos- ha)... pick your present (nothing big- new box o' crayons and stack of white paper, finger paints, some books... what-the-eff-ever) and early one morning snatch all those beasties and hide them away deep. Child awakens- ooo! Pacis gone! The fairy came! (Maybe leave some glitter sprinkled on the bed if you think that won't freak her out.) And she left a BIG GIRL PRESENT for you! ETc. Good luck! ;-)

[mo-wo]

And does she sound a little bit like a cylon?

By the way found this for you today..
http://thetyee.ca/Entertainment/2006/10/05/BSG/

[mo-wo]

And does she sound a little bit like a cylon?

By the way found this for you today..
http://thetyee.ca/Entertainment/2006/10/05/BSG/

[AdventureDad]

Good luck with that. We've had the oppsite problem with both kids, they refuse the pacifier. We've tried every size, brand and color but there is no chance. Our son has been sucking his thumb and is now only doing it when he falls asleep. But our daughter absolutely refuses a pacifier. God knows she could use one to calm down.

This comment is kind of old, how is the pacifier project going now, two months later?

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