It's been a looooooong week here at Casa de Cheeky. I've been home since before Christmas, periodically poking my nose into my work e-mail to see if anything blew up (it did) but otherwise splitting my time between a suddenly-into-Daddy Cheeky and gleefully reigniting my encyclopedic interest in super-heroes. To be honest, it's freakin' exhausting being the kid's primary focus...I feel like a cross between Big Nutbrown Hare and Mr. Fremont.
But I've managed to steal a few minutes here and there to compile my annual year-end awards, honoring the best and worst of last year according to me. It's been a rough 12 months...here are some of
dark splotches bright spots.
The George "the Animal" Steele Award for Best Hairy Naked Man-Flesh (not that there's anything wrong with that)
The Andre the Giant Award for Best Example of How the French Can Still Kick Ass
The "Zebra, Zebra, Short and Stout" Award for Worst Officiating in the History of Sports Ever Ever EVER!!
The Arcade Fire Most Over-Rated Band of the Year Award
The P. Diddy Person(s) Whom I Care Nothing About Yet Can't Avoid Award
The Bonnie Bleskachek Award for Most Tragic Demotion
Pluto, the Dwarf Planet
The Milli Vanilli Award for Truth in Entertainment
The John 8:7 Award for Hyperbole and Over-Reaction
Everyone who went ape-shit about James Frey
The Eva Longoria "STFU and Go Away" Award
The Official "Your Fifteen Minutes Are Up" Award
The "Show Me the Money" Award for Phrase I Hope I Never Hear Again
The "Heck of a Job, Brownie" Award for Phrase I Know I'll Have to Suffer Through for Two More Years
The Glitch in the Matrix Award for the Day I Actually Got Enough Hits That it Looked Like People Read this Blog
The Week of May 29-June 2, when Austin's finest music editor linked to my entry for the shittiest mix-tape ever. It was like I was Sweet Juniper for a week. No worries, though...I've returned to obscurity since then.
The Fortinbras Award for the Most Depressing Cavalcade of Death to Close a Year
The Glass Half Full Award to Counteract the Fortinbras Award
Hey, no tsunami!
The Johnny Paycheck Best Career Move Award
The Atticus Finch Award for Fictional Character I Most Want to Be When I Grow Up
The Max Headroom Award for the Show Which Should Be Better Than It Is
The Stephen Colbert Truthiness Award
Stephen Colbert (ironically) at the White House Correspondents Dinner
The Lance Johnson Award for Most Out-of-Place Character in the Theater of War
My brother Michael, snowboard instructor, somewhere in Northern Iraq
The "Irie, Irie!" Award for Best Evidence of Friendliness in Other Cultures
We score beers for the bus in Jamaica
The Bungee-Jumping Award for Something I Hope I Never Do Again
Flying from New York to Seattle with a restless toddler on my lap. Never again.
And finally, the Ian Dury & the Blockheads Reason to be Cheerful Award
Another year of this. What can I say?...I'm a sucker.
Happy New Year, everybody...I hope it's joyous, rewarding, and safe.