It's been a looooooong week here at Casa de Cheeky. I've been home since before Christmas, periodically poking my nose into my work e-mail to see if anything blew up (it did) but otherwise splitting my time between a suddenly-into-Daddy Cheeky and gleefully reigniting my encyclopedic interest in super-heroes. To be honest, it's freakin' exhausting being the kid's primary focus...I feel like a cross between Big Nutbrown Hare and Mr. Fremont.
But I've managed to steal a few minutes here and there to compile my annual year-end awards, honoring the best and worst of last year according to me. It's been a rough 12 months...here are some of dark splotches bright spots.
The George "the Animal" Steele Award for Best Hairy Naked Man-Flesh (not that there's anything wrong with that)
Borat and Azamat wrestling over the right to have a "hand party" with a Baywatch magazine.
The Andre the Giant Award for Best Example of How the French Can Still Kick Ass
The "Zebra, Zebra, Short and Stout" Award for Worst Officiating in the History of Sports Ever Ever EVER!!
The Arcade Fire Most Over-Rated Band of the Year Award
The P. Diddy Person(s) Whom I Care Nothing About Yet Can't Avoid Award
The Bonnie Bleskachek Award for Most Tragic Demotion
Pluto, the Dwarf Planet
The Milli Vanilli Award for Truth in Entertainment
The John 8:7 Award for Hyperbole and Over-Reaction
Everyone who went ape-shit about James Frey
The Eva Longoria "STFU and Go Away" Award
The Official "Your Fifteen Minutes Are Up" Award
The "Show Me the Money" Award for Phrase I Hope I Never Hear Again
The "Heck of a Job, Brownie" Award for Phrase I Know I'll Have to Suffer Through for Two More Years
The Glitch in the Matrix Award for the Day I Actually Got Enough Hits That it Looked Like People Read this Blog
The Week of May 29-June 2, when Austin's finest music editor linked to my entry for the shittiest mix-tape ever. It was like I was Sweet Juniper for a week. No worries, though...I've returned to obscurity since then.
The Fortinbras Award for the Most Depressing Cavalcade of Death to Close a Year
James Brown, Gerald Ford, Saddam Hussein, the 3000th American soldier in Iraq, and any good feelings I had going into January.
The Glass Half Full Award to Counteract the Fortinbras Award
Hey, no tsunami!
The Johnny Paycheck Best Career Move Award
Fleeing the mother-ship of corporate America for a gig in consulting
The Atticus Finch Award for Fictional Character I Most Want to Be When I Grow Up
The Max Headroom Award for the Show Which Should Be Better Than It Is
The Stephen Colbert Truthiness Award
Stephen Colbert (ironically) at the White House Correspondents Dinner
The Lance Johnson Award for Most Out-of-Place Character in the Theater of War
My brother Michael, snowboard instructor, somewhere in Northern Iraq
The "Irie, Irie!" Award for Best Evidence of Friendliness in Other Cultures
We score beers for the bus in Jamaica
The Bungee-Jumping Award for Something I Hope I Never Do Again
Flying from New York to Seattle with a restless toddler on my lap. Never again.
And finally, the Ian Dury & the Blockheads Reason to be Cheerful Award
Another year of this. What can I say?...I'm a sucker.
Happy New Year, everybody...I hope it's joyous, rewarding, and safe.
That's so funny that you mentioned Paige's blog. She and I both write for Austinist.
Whoa, small internet.
Posted by: Jonathon | January 01, 2007 at 07:22 PM
Hysterical list, but the last picture is the best! Happy New Year, Dude.
Posted by: Hygiene Dad | January 01, 2007 at 09:02 PM
Great list! Happy New Year. BTW, I was in somc arty boutique last week and saw a purse made out of your banner graphic. I double-checkd to make sure that you, Cheeky and Oodgie weren't superimposed on it. You weren't.
Posted by: misfithausfrau | January 02, 2007 at 06:32 AM
Awetastic.
happy new year!
Posted by: thor | January 02, 2007 at 07:05 AM
Nice list. I disagree with you on one minor point. Frey is a fuckstick and deserved to be pilloried.
Happy New Year to you too.
Posted by: p-man | January 02, 2007 at 11:48 AM
Of all the Look Back at 2006 lists I've seen, this has been the funniest. Nicely done!
Posted by: Chag | January 02, 2007 at 06:28 PM
Hi! Just wanted to wish you a happy new year before it's too late to do so. Thanks for all the great posts this past year. I wish you all the best blogging in 2007!
Posted by: Phil | January 03, 2007 at 01:54 AM
I miss the traffic from the shittiest tape mix too.
Great, now I have that Wing cover stuck in my head again.
Posted by: Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah | January 03, 2007 at 06:40 AM
another great list. happy new year!
Posted by: laurie | January 03, 2007 at 08:21 AM
I could see you as Coach Taylor.
By the way, I'm hoping 2007 is the year that Dane Cook disappears from the fucking planet. Man, I hate that talentless hack.
Posted by: MetroDad | January 03, 2007 at 10:12 AM
Kayla-bear is way into me at the moment as well. I'm sure it won't last.....but you're right....tis a pretty good workout being the central focus of a toddlers attention.
Hand party......freakin funny.
Posted by: chocolate makes it better | January 03, 2007 at 05:00 PM
am typing in stunned awe of the titles for your categories. you don't just rock, you RAAAAWWKK (imagine metal signs and teenagers in black def leppard baseball shirts screaming raaaawk! and that's how much you rock).
Posted by: Kara | January 07, 2007 at 09:38 PM
OH this made me smile.
Posted by: paige | January 09, 2007 at 09:22 PM