Public Indecency
Imagine, if you will, a cute young couple stepping onto a bus or subway you are riding on. Their child, although a cheerful little creature, is wearing a pink shirt so stained and discolored it looks like it had been dipped in dumpster-juice. Streaks of watermelon, lasagna, liquefied graham cracker, and god knows what bodily fluids leave a unique pattern across her chest, and bits of undigested food are stuck in her hair.
Would you think, "those white-trash parents are raising their child to be a p-i-g PIG?"
Now imagine if that same child lifted her daddy's shirt to expose his pale, distended belly. Using the same finger that had just been absorbing exotic germs from the subway poll, she plunges up to her elbow into his belly button.
Would you shudder with disgust, then vomit?
This same child, in her newly psychedelic shirt, is gleefully working the surrounding crowd when she reaches out her pudgy fingers and pulls down her mother's shirt, exposing the entirety of her boob.
Would you say, "My god, I don't care if this is my stop or not, I NEED to get off now. Where's the emergency brake?"
For all of you who saw this on the 3 train Saturday, I'm sorry. Especially for the fact I don't tan better. Hopefully you got a laugh out of it, like we did, and didn't call the OCFS on us.
Ok, the belly pic had me totally laughing.
Posted by: Hygiene Dad | August 14, 2006 at 08:02 AM
That usually happens to me in the grocery store. My children have exposed most of my anatomy (and lots of my underwear) to the poor sucks who shop by my house.
Posted by: Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah | August 14, 2006 at 08:35 AM
My favorite is when Quinn yanks on my swimsuit straps at the pool. Yeah, good times.
Posted by: Kristen | August 14, 2006 at 12:12 PM
Uhhhh...oops ;-)
Posted by: Chris | August 14, 2006 at 12:19 PM
Too funny. If they have kids they all understand, if not....well they are still talking about you.
Posted by: Melissa | August 14, 2006 at 01:24 PM
Dude...that was totally us on the 2/3 line this weekend. Somehow, my daughter's pale blue dress turned into Joseph's technicolor dream coat.
Posted by: MetroDad | August 14, 2006 at 01:31 PM
My innocent doing a thing like that? I think it must have been a "wardrobe malfunction". :-)
Posted by: WCG | August 14, 2006 at 07:27 PM
I don't know whether to laugh or cry. I want to laugh because, well, I've been there. But I want to cry because...
Yeah, been there.
Posted by: Mrs. Chicky | August 14, 2006 at 09:51 PM